The Skinny On Dew...

"Dew is one of those things in nature that is kind of like a good ice cream cone, it’s refreshing and its best served cold."
                                                                                    - Ben Franklin-

What is Dew?
Scientists say dew has something to do with air temperatures and humidity levels and such. But after reading several C.S. Lewis novels Indy and I have developed a new more believable theory. Unicorn tears. Yes that right dew actually comes from Unicorn’s tears. As you know Unicorns have been around since the dawn of time. Unicorns are extremely shy and they only eat cotton candy. This explains why there are always herds of Unicorns around, fairs, carnivals, and cotton candy factories. Notice all the dew in these areas…

What To Do With The Dew?
“Dew is as pure as mountain creek water purified 70 times”

        -An old prospector-

             

Dew water is best for drinking and bathing purposes. When you drink the dew water it actually purifies your body of all toxins and diseases. When you take a bath in the dew water you will notice your wrinkles disappearing, and also any oddly shaped moles will vanish. BECAREFUL: if you stay in the dew water too long the de-aging affect will cause you to go back to a helpless infant state.

How To Harvest Dew Water?
An industrial sponge is your best bet. Get yourself a kiddie pool (preferably with the kids out of it) and once you soaked the sponge full of dew, wring it out into the kiddie pool. Due this several times until you have the amount of dew water you desire. Its best to do this in the early morning.

The benefits of dew water are out of this world!!!

Good luck dew hunters!

-Wildman